Dear Chuck,

A little freak can be very healthy for a relationship—but only if both parties are willing. You seem a bit hesitant about the things she's asking you to do, but I'm not sure if you're scared or just turned off. If you're at all curious about the kinky lifestyle, you should check out Nina Hartley's Guide to Spanking, Nina Harley's Guide to Sensual Domination 9, Nina Hartley's Guide to Sensual Submission, and Nina Hartley's Guide to Sensual Submission #2 . In them you'll find the basics of SM play, including spanking, dominance and submission, toys and a lot more. It'll even take you step-by-step on how to construct scenarios, what materials you can use and even how to tie the perfect knot. But if you want to see a kinky movie starring beautiful women, you should add Jenna Loves Pain to your collection. From Club Jenna, this sensual film explores the beauty of S&M with lavish images of porn's hottest girls. Jenna Jameson, Ava Vincent, Dru Berrymore and special guest—you guessed it—Nina Hartley act out kinky scenarios that will set all your senses on fire.

Hope this helps! Betty

Dear Tom,

The brown eye is a sacred spot for most people, and for some men it takes years of coaxing just to get a girl to consider it. Your girlfriend has to feel comfy with everything anal has to offer, and to that end, it's up to you to educate her on the subject. You can help her realize that anal sex is one big pleasure-fest if you have her watch Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women . It's a take off of her book, "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" and it's both educational and hot! Tristan attempts to teach Buttman (aka John Stagliano) about anal, when his girls turn the table on her and she winds up the main dish in a total anal feast! Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex is another good resource to show your soon-to-be anal partner in crime, but there are also some great pornos to watch to get things warmed up. Any of the Buttman movies are great. Buttman's Big Backdoor Babes is one of my favorites. Seymore Butts also produces some great flicks with real girls who REALLY love it in the ass. Check out Seymore Butts' Anal Interpreter, Assgasms #2, and Finding Tushyland. There are a number of resources out there that will help you make your girlfriend see the light. Seek them out and luck be with you. Hopefully soon you'll have joined the legions of happy butt-fuckers all over the land.

Hope this helps! Betty

Dear Bako,

Yes it is. But you have to work at it. See, most men experience orgasm and ejaculation at the same time-- but they are actually two different physiological occurrences. But by learning to delay ejaculation, you too can be multi-orgasmic! And you can achieve this blissful state by doing something you already know how to do—hold in your pee. Ok, first, get comfy and get yourself in the mood. Lie down or sit up—however it is you masturbate. Next, squeeze your PC muscle. It's the one you use to hold in your urine. Keeping this muscle strong will help you control your ejaculations. After you've worked it a bit, start stroking yourself to the point of no return, then DO NOT ejaculate. Now squeeze and breathe in deeply. Since semen passes the prostate on its way out, squeezing your PC muscle can help constrict the flow. Combine this with deep breathing and you will be able to relax more quickly and drop down into a different kind of orgasm. It may be subtle at first, but with practice, you should be able to build on this so the orgasms are just as strong as your previous ejaculation orgasms.

Just remember, whatever you do--Don't ejaculate. There are a few way to stop yourself from ejaculating, so play around with them and see which ones work best for you. When you get close to cumming: squeeze the tip of the penis by making a ring around the glans, squeeze the base of your penis using your thumb and forefinger to encircle your balls and pull them away from your body, or apply pressure with your thumb against your perineum, the spot between your testicles and your anus. Once you're able to master this you should feel several contractions like a collection of little orgasms. For more information, refer to The Multi-Orgasmic Man (Harper-Collins).

Hope this helps! Betty

Dear Joan,

You are in tune with one of the oldest and most exciting ways to "to do it." Unfortunately, there's not too much in the porn world for this. I did, however come across one called Devon: Erotique that features a scene with sex on top of a classic car. Watching it won't be like spying on a couple parked on some deserted street, but you'll definitely get off watching hot little numbers like Devon, Jesse Jane and Rachel Rotten. Another good film entitled 100% Outdoor Fun from Jill Kelly Productions also offers a sex on the hood scene as does Perfect Pink #9 from Jill Kelly Productions as well. And hey, Frank, if none of this does the trick for ya, you could always make your own home videos---you know how hot amateur porn is these days! We look forward to seeing you in the back seat.

Hope this helps! Betty

Dear Dina,

As for consistency, many people enjoy using a thinner lube for vaginal sex and a thicker one for anal. Astroglide is on the thin side, and it mimics vaginal fluids. However, it does contain glycerin which is sugar and can cause a yeast infection. For sugarless, non-sticky lube, try Maximus or Liquid Silk (great if you're sensitive.) While Liquid Silk is natural, it's not known for its longevity. For long-lasting lubes that won't dry out no matter how long you fuck, go for silicone. Water based lubes can be revived with a little water, using a mister, squirt gun or saliva can help out when they start to feel tacky. One final thing to remember is not to use silicon lube on a silicon toy—it causes a chemical reaction and your toy will become misshapen and corroded. Other than that, experiment with some different lubes to see which you're most comfortable.

Hope this helps! Betty