Dear Help,

That is definitely a problem. The culprit could be a few things.

First off, is your girl smoking hot? That in itself can make you nervous. Or, maybe you're nervous because you are worried about your performance and you're just over-thinking things. If this is the case, be in the moment and don't make yourself so anxious. A good way to take your mind off of things and relax is to watch some porn. It's like candles when it comes to sex—it lightens the mood and makes everything sexy. Here's a few I highly suggest to get you (and her) in the mood:

Just seeing Tera Patrick will put you immediately at ease. Her new flick, Vivid's Tera Patrick's Fashion Underground has a plot revolving around the world of fashion—this is sure to be a hit with your girl as well. From the runway to the boardroom this is a hot sexual romp starring the hottest porn chicks, including Ava Ramon, Aaliyah Jolie, Penny Flame, Shy Love, Samantha Ryan and Mikayla.

For a little extra credit in the classroom, try Japanime's Boin Lecture #1. This anime/hentai feature has a plotline about a new teacher who tries to make his mark with his students. Literally.

I would also suggest an all girl flick such as Gina Lynn Productions' Drowning in Bitch Juice—there are so many hot girls in this movie that you'll totally forget what's making you anxious. Check out Nikki Benz take on Alektra Blue, and a cavalcade of other girls including Gina Lynn herself delight each other with their tongues and an arsenal of toys.

One last thing…are you taking meds? Although your problem doesn't sound like a physical one, some meds can interfere with your ability to get hard at the strangest times. Since I'm not a doctor, you make want to talk to a doctor about this one, if it's applicable to you.

Happy viewing!

Love, Betty

Dear Will,

I actually get this question a lot. And why? Because men constantly worry about the size of their member—it's a gauge of how they'll measure up and ultimately how they will satisfy a woman. Normal size for most males is 5.5 inches (according to a Kinsey study), but based on my calculations most guys are generally 5 to 7 inches. And unless you're with a girl who's a Size Queen, most women are cool with these dimensions. If your girl isn't comfortable with your size, she might not be the girl for you. I'm assuming that's why you're asking me this question. Personally, I think it's more about the performance than the actual size. But maybe that's just me.

Outside of surgery, there are ways temporary ways to make your penis longer without creams or pills. A lot of guys use penis extensions. Basically, you put your member in here and it looks bigger. Based on the current size of your member (and how much bigger you'd like it to be), you can get a toy like the Perfect Penis Extension 8 incher. This one is quite realistic and you can use it whether or not your guy is at attention. Look under toys for men and you'll see we have quite a selection. We also carry ones with bumps like the Latex Penis Extension with Small Bumps. This will give her a little extra pleasure.

Another way to elongate your penis is to use a penis pump. Although I'm not a doctor, I do know that you need to be careful when using one of these gadgets. There are many on the toy section of our site, but I recommend the World Traveler Power Pump. It's easy to use and comes with a discreet travel case and sleeve. If you'd like a little more action with your pump, try a vibrating one. The Samurai Vibrating Pump feels like a tongue and has multiple speeds—some men swear by this one.

Hope this helps!

Love, Betty

Dear Night Owl,

I will let you in on a little secret—the guys in porn can have their dicks sucked for ages after they come because they have some amazing editors on their films. Simply editing the film makes it look as if a guy can just cum and jump right back into the action. But in reality, this isn't so.

Every guy does have his own special recovery time after he cums—this is called the refractory period. Some guys can jump right back into action in under 10 minutes and others need to rest a couple of hours. Some guys actually nod off and need a nap afterward. Every guy needs to rest (even Erik Everhard and Peter North) and there are other things that can effect how quickly a guy can rebound such as stress and alcohol and drug use, and interest in having sex right at that moment.

And, if you'd like to check out some of the masters of porn cumming and reloading what seems like instantaneously, check out Peter North acting and directing in Northstar Associates' North Pole #61. Erik Everhard is also considered a master—I would suggest catching him in Evil Angel's New Whores on the Block #2.

And watch Shane Diesel pretty much take on every girl (which takes an infinite amount of lock and reload) in the Digital Sin production of Shane Diesel's S.O.S. Stretched Out Snatch #5. Another up and cummer who can go the distance (and beyond) is Jerry—you can check him out in Digital Playground's Control #4.

Hope this helps!

Love, Betty

Dear Freddy,

Yes, men have a G-Spot, too. The prostate (also known as the P-Spot) can provide some deep tissue pleasure if stimulated correctly. Here are a few tips to being the captain and making it happen:

• Take a shower and relax. And if you need to, go to the bathroom.
  
• Whether it's you or your lady doing the pleasuring, make sure both of you have cut (and maybe even filed) your nails. Sharp edges take away from the glamour.
  
• Start out with a massage of the perineum—this is between the testicles and anus. You'll want to use some lube for this.
  
• Gradually insert fingers into the anus about an inch (or 2) while you're lying on your back.
  
• Locate the round bulb of tissue—this is the prostate. Move your fingers in a “come here” type of motion, using your fingers to massage the prostate. Your partner should ask you how this feels and if they should go faster or slower and/or apply more pressure. You might also want your partner to stroke your penis at the same time or give you oral sex.
  
• Keep in mind this type of stimulation can make you feel like you have to go to the bathroom. This may just be a feeling caused by the stimulation.

Love, Betty