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1st Place
Appleton, WI
GRAND PRIZE:
 Take your WL DVDs anywhere with this Apex PD-10 Portable DVD Player w/5.6-in Screen, S-Video out!
$100 Gift Certificate from Eros Boutique.
3 Free Months of Unlimited Porn.
|
So I walk into my local video store and go the “back room”.
Just like when guys go to a public restroom you never look someone
in the eye. The same is true when you are looking for porn.
So I am in the back looking for a porno to rent when I see a
guy in my peripheral vision that looks like he has found a movie
he really, really likes. At first I don’t believe it,
so I look right at him, his back is to me, and sure enough he
is flogging the dolphin. He must not have heard me come into
the room because at the same time I am looking at him he looks
over his shoulder and sees me. He looked at me for all of a
half second and went back to work, only a lot faster. So, I
turn around and leave chuckling to myself and debating whether
or not to tell someone in the video store. Before I could make
that decision the fucker from the back room comes waltzing out,
in a crowded video store, and points at me saying, that I left
a big mess in the back and I should at least clean it up before
I leave. He ends up just walking out of the store while some
“good Samaritans” make sure I don’t leave
until the Cops show up. Well, thank God for video cameras in
porno rental rooms, because with out that, county lockup would
have made me look like a slut from Max Hardcore.
2nd Place
Strongsville, OH
2nd PLACE PRIZE:
3 Free DVDs
$50 Gift Certificate from Eros Boutique.
2 Free Months of Unlimited Porn.
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Ever since I was old enough to enjoy porn movies, I have been
renting them. I frequent as many rental stores in my area as
will carry them. Now, the real story begins in that my family
has long been the prudish type, generation thru generation.
I was somehow formed into being the freak.
Once I had rented a stack of movies and my G-friend and I had
watched then and banged through each and every one of them over
the course of the night. Here's where the story begins to gather
momentum. My parents had worked the third shift while I was
living at home, so the nights were mine. I wasn’t allowed
to have anyone over, especially females. Well, this particular
night, after our little fuck frenzy to the porn movies, my g-friend
fell asleep in my bed – butt naked. When my parents arrived
home in the morning, they opened my bedroom door to allow our
pets outside and behold, there was Melanie in all her naked
glory, and me, complete with morning wood sprouting upwards
towards the sky. The obvious was next, ass kickin’ by
Dad and plates thrown at the bull’s eye on my head by
Mom. But wait, it gets better.
All these movies which had been rented I still had to displace
from the TV area, so I grabbed all that I could, as fast as
I could, and threw them into a bag. Now, my family is also known
to rent numerous movies as they are all verified couch potatoes.
Well later that day, I decide to return the friggin’ things.
So I walk into the rental store, and I was about to shit myself
when I see my 67 year old grandmother, 2 of her friends, and
the pastor of the church in the store at the checkout. I get
so flustered that I drop the bag of movies (some of which have
titles I can’t even post) and they disperse across the
floor. So, now I am the center of attention to not only the
fellow renters, but to this elite crowd of my family and their
friends. Not to mention the Holy Man who is waving his hand
over me and the bag like we are the devil one in the same. Normally,
one would think that this has already been the absolute worst
day of a young man’s life, but again, just wait to the
last part because it gets worse. So now I pick all these movies
up off the floor to the utter embarrassment of myself and everyone
else around, and take my spot in the line behind my Grandmother.
As she stands there awaiting her turn to turn in ‘The
Sound of Music’ and some ‘Mockingbird’ movie,
the attendant opens up the video cases and quite LOUDLY advertises
that the movies are not correct and that ‘What Pink Pussies
Crave’ and ‘The No-Tell Motel’ are not going
to be accepted in the current cases. So now my Grandmother,
again, turns to me, this time with a look on her face for which
only a demon from hell could possess, and a few trickling tears
in her eyes, and proceeds to tell me that I am a complete disappointment
to both her, the family, and life in general. At this point,
everyone in the store, including the attendant, customers, and
my G-friend break out in to hysterical laughter, all directed
at my misfortune. Talk about a shitty day. And needless to say,
that was also the last night that I was welcome in my parents
home as well. I hope I can make everyone else who has a story
now feel better, because I don’t possibly see how anything
could have been worse.
3rd Place
Brownsville, TX
3rd PLACE PRIZE:
$25 Gift Certificate from Eros Boutique.
Free Month of Unlimited Porn.
|
I went to the local video store to rent a movie and I was finally
able to sneak into the adult section. This section was separated
by a couple of beaded curtains. Of course it was hard to see
inside and hard to see out. After browsing the selection I finally
was able to get a Jenna Jameson video. Video because of where
I live, there are very few places that carry adult DVDs. When
I was done I poked my head out to see who was out there and
suddenly noticed on the other side of the store my aunt was
looking through the family videos. My aunt is a very prideful
Jehovah’s Witness and always looks down on everyone. I
have always managed to keep under her radar and be considered
a good boy. I stayed behind the Curtin for about ten minutes
and I started to get a little anxious. Well after I noticed
that she was going to take a long time I finally decided to
sneak out of the adult section and rush over to the action section
which was very close by. So slowly I started to exit the adult
section and when I saw the coast was clear I rushed over to
the other section. Well I unknowingly snagged the beaded curtain
to the video under my arm and when I ran out, the whole curtain
and rod setup came crashing down and I tossed my video out into
the floor towards my aunt. When I looked up, I found out why
my aunt was taking out so long. It seems she was waiting for
my mom to meet her there. They both stood there with a shocked
look on their faces that will never leave my mind ever. Since
then, I have never rented an adult video again. Now I buy them
from the adult store or now I can rent them with WL.
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| Other Notable Stories that you’ll Enjoy |
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Fresno, CA
When I turned 18 yrs old I wanted to watch my first porno. So
I went with a couple of friends to our local porno store. I
grab a couple movies I wanted to rent. Then a old guy 50 plus
came up to me and said...So you like porn? I said never seen
one but this girl on the cover is hot!! He said "yeah...Her
name is Felecia....She can lick a nice pussy." I said "oh".....Then
he said "You like Jenna Jameson?" I said "Yeah
I seen her on Howard Stern and she looks hot! but I better go
I have friend wanting for me." At this point I was freak
out and scared. He then asked " Well u you want you can
come to my place down the street and I can copy come movies
for you and maybe we can become friends?'" No thanx!"
I said. The I went to the counter to sign up for a membership
and tired to get the hell out of there! I mean there is a man
hitting on me!!! and very old man! As I was signing up the person
at the counter said " Are you 18?" Yes here is my
id" I said. The store cleck reply "You dont look 18
but if your id says your 18 then your 18. Hey! Isnt today your
18th birthday?" I said "Oh yes." He then smiled
and said out load "Wow 18 today and already renting porn!
Wow...I bet your going to have a very happy birthday when you
get home" Now I really wanted to get out of there. Finally
I got the porn and go out of the store. My friend was waiting
for me in the car. I then got in the car and was about to leave
then I hear a knock on my window..."Hi! Are you sure you
dont want to come by my house? You can bring your friend if
you like. More the better" It was the 50 yr old man from
the store! I said no thanx and got the hell out of there. and
let just say I didnt got back to rent movies there for 3 yrs.
then I had another bad exp..and I think I will always stick
with wanted list! but hey on the lighter side of the story...Felecia
is very hot! And so is Jenna!!!!!
Southgate, MI
I used to go to a now closed "Mom and Pop" video store
to rent stuff. They were great as you could mix and match regular
new movies with porn, 3 for $6. There was always this hot little
18 year old working. She was a snob. At first I would feel ashamed
when I'd rent and she was on duty. Then I said "the hell
with it." One day I walk in a little drunk. Go up to the
desk after making a couple selections. There was a young guy
working who just got back from a leave of absense. I said "Hey
man. Glad you're here.I feel so stupid renting from that hot
blonde with big tits." He looked at me and uttered one
of a few phrases that no guy wants to hear- "Hey Man. That's
my sister!"
Vandergrift, PA
My story is pretty basic stuff. My girlfreind called the office
to entice me into stopping on my drive home to pick up an X
to compliment our planned evening of inebriation generally wild
sexual behavior. The video store was very busy because it was
Friday night around rush hour, and I slipped descretely into
the back for a quick look at what was available. I pay more
attention to the actors and themes than to actual titles, so
I picked a couple numbered tags and headed for the front desk.
After a long wait in line and with many people behind and around
me, the middle aged and undoubtedly sexually frustrated woman
who waited on me took my tags and looked for my videos. While
I waited, I flirted with a sweet young thing who was waiting
in line next to me. Suddenly, bitch woman returned, slapped
a couple un-cased videos onto the counter top and yelled, ARE
THESE THE TITLES YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?! I looked down, and there
on the cassette in two inch bold block lettering was the title
"THROAT FUCK". With my face hot and undoubtedly beet
red, I grabbed the tapes, mumbling something in agreement and
paid her as she grinned like some eivl, demon possessed church
woman. I turned to leave, avoiding eye contact with the many
store patrons and the young lady I had flirted with touched
my arm and motioned for me to wait. You could hear a pin drop
as she stepped up to the counter and bitch woman asked sweetly
"Can I help you?" My knightess in white armor loudly
retorted, "You could help us all if you'd just brush your
teeth, get a date and have an orgasm" Many people were
chuckling and it was my turn to grin as she spun around, took
my arm and ushered me out of the store. I asked her for her
name and we walked next door for a beer. That night (and many
more) turned out better than I could have ever imagined, but.....that's
another story.
Avondale, AZ
My most embarassing moment when I was renting at a local video
store of mine is when I had just turned 18 years old. My girlfriend
at the time was working at the video store and told me about
the selection of porn that they had in a "special room".
I had seen porn flicks in the past but never had rented one
so now I knew where to go. My girlfriend at the time didn't
know that I was BIG into porn and I told myself that once I
turned 18 I was going to get some! So, the day arrived and off
I went. I knew that she wasn't working that night and she was
hanging out with her friends and my parents were gone for the
weekend so it was the perfect opportunity. I went to the store
and into the "special room" and was checking out the
selection that they had and me, being the young stupid kid that
I was, didn't think about what I was wearing as I had a pair
of windbreaker pants on. Needless to say when I was looking
at the titles I found myself getting aroused and luckily no
one else was in the room at the time as I was very nervous.
I found one that I liked "Cumming in America" (never
will forget the title) and with the time that I was in there
I got myself not only a movie but also a big Hard On! As I walked
out of the room, I tried to hide my boner the best I could but
with the windbreaker pants it wasn't that easy plus they have
the deep pockets in them. I went to the checkout line and as
I was ready to give them my selection the owner of the store,
who was in the standing behind the counter, asked me off to
the side. He asked me if I was trying to steal stuff from his
store (as in addition to renting movies they sold candy, sodas,
etc.) He noticed that I was trying to hide something in my pocket
but, as you know, I wasn't stealing anything it was just my
hard on. I guess that looking at it from his angle it may have
looked like I did have something in my pants (which I did!).
It didn't take long for him to deduct that I wasn't stealing
anything and needless to say that both he and I were embarassed
about the whole situation. I got my movie, went home, enjoyed
it fully and still live with that thought in my mind. It ends
up that my girlfriend did find out that I rented the movie and
she was cool with it and the rest of the time that we were togheter
I just had her pick them up while she was working but still
the embarassment of that first time...UGH!!!
Fresno, CA
"I rented Hardcore Sex babes 6 from my local adult video
store. Took it home and took it out of the box. I notice the
label on the tape was gone. Someone ripped it off. So I stuck
the movie into my VCR. It turned out to be shit eatters #5 or
something. I was so mad! The store closed already so I hind
the movie and went to bed. The next day I got the movie and
returned it. They gave me a hard time but they just took it
back and said I'll check the movie later, go head and find another
movie. I did. I took it home and when I was about to watch the
movie I just picked up I saw a blank tape on the floor. I popped
it in and found it was shit eatters!!! I ran to find out what
tape I brought to video store. Will it turned out to be a high
school girl friend and I sex tape!!! I was so scared!!!! I never
marked that tape so no one would find it!!!! I ran back to the
video store and the guy behind the counter didnt belave me and
said that Shit eatters was already rent out!!!!! He said he
couldnt help me unless somone broght it back and said it wasnt
shit eatters!
Well that was about 5 months ago and someone is enjoying me
and my high school girl. I love wanted list and I will never
rent anywhere else!!"
Belfry, KY
OMG You want to know this about ruined me. I was going to college
at MSU and I was engaged to Kimberly. Well Kimberly had stayed
at her apartment that night and I had rented some movies. The
next moarning I had to go to work so I put the 2 videos that
I had rented quickly back into the box not taking the time to
even rewing the one in the VCR. Well Kimberly came to my apartment
before I got off of work where she recieved a call from the
video store that I had not returned the proper tapes. They ask
her to bring the video to the store so she did. When she got
there they gave her a copy of a video that I had made with a
GIRL that was not her and that I was not supposed to be seeing.
Needless to say what I had done with it the night before. Anyway,
I came home I was busted by Kimberly and I had to beg and beg
for her forgivness and eventually got it. The kicker was the
guy at the store new me and he thought the girl I was with was
hot, he made a copy lent it to a friend and within about 2 weeks
I was the talk of campus. I know for a fact that the entire
Delta Eta Chapter had a copy of my video. Do you know how many
different shades of red my face turned a month later when I
walked in to rent from them again. I really thought I was going
to pass out.
Poway, CA
Me and my cousin went to the video store down the street from
my house one day and i decided to take my dog the pwner knew
me so he didnt care anyways me and my cousin wandered into the
porn section it was only me and him and my dog in there at the
time and my dog was so happy just to be there he kept lickin
me on the cheek he was a small dog so i was holdin him needless
to say i soon yelled out would you stop lickin me so of course
when we came out of the section the people that where there
looked at me and my cousin in disgust like they we thinkin you
sick freaks you couldnt wait to get home and do that . From
then on i was always embaressed when i went in there.
Lewiston, ID
"I used to manage an independent video store that had a
pretty good amount of adult material. From time to time I had
to go check things in that section, just to make sure everything
was neat and tidy, and nothing was going on.
One day a gentleman pulled me aside and asked me why we had
no bisexual (m/m) films. I informed him that indeed we did -
in fact, I had just been back there straightening up and seen
the titles. Apparently he took this the wrong way, as he asked
if he could just go in there with me right then and suck me
off.
A few months later, I had left that job to take a manager's
position elsewhere. On my second day, I met the remainder of
the staff that I hadn't seen the first day. Among them, was
the man that had offered to service me that day! Luckily, things
weren't too awkward...in fact, he pulled me aside and asked
me where he knew me from. I don't think he ever figured it out..."
Springfield, IL
"Our local video store chain (6 stores in our city of 100k
people - so they have the majority) has a decent selection of
adult videos. On evening, after I had made my 4 VHS selections
(not ""hideable"" at all) and was standing
in the checkout line when who should walk in.. but my good friend
& my girlfriend ! (Oh S**** ! - busted - so I thought..)
I saw them, but since I was wearing a ball cap (which I normally
don't do), I quickly turned away & they walked right behind
me - headed to the New Release section. Anyway, I was able to
check out & get out of there without being seen - PHEW !
Of course, I am no longer with her, & no there was nothing
going on between my good friend & her, but to make matters
worse, she turned out to be a lesbian! No, really, she did -
true story ! So, now I have set the following rules for myself:
always wear a ball cap when going to the adult section of the
video store, find out if it's a video store a significant other
of mine would visit, find out if she is a lesbian first &
offer to videotape her next encounter, etc.
Really, this IS a true story.
Pittsburgh, PA
"Before the days of DVD and online purchasing/rentals,
us pornophiles actual had to maneuver our way to the dreaded
""back room"" of the video store to get
our adult fix. This, of course, was a room where all the adult
video titles were kept in folders you could leaf through.
Being from a small town, the mission was always one of ""hit
and run"": Get in, pick something quickly and get
out with your ""rental tag"" - hoping that
no one came into the store that you knew (or worse yet...knew
your parents!) in that brief time.
One day, on one of my ""Porn Runs"", I congratulated
myself on another safe manuver in and out of the adult video
section...only to find that the video clerk working that day
was not only a young girl that I went to high school with...not
only a girl I had had a crush on for years...but a girl that
sang in our church choir! Needless to say, my face turned red
when checking out that day...only to have her say ""I
haven't seen these two yet!"" when handing over my
rentals, with a naughty and knowing smile on her face!
No, I didn't get to live out my porn fantasy with this cutie,
nor did I ever get around to asking her out...but I was never
embarassed about renting an adult video again after that day,
knowing that the town's ""saint"" was just
as dirty-minded as I was! "
Carrboro, NC
I used to work behind the counter of a Video City store in downtown
Denver. I was 21 at the time, and very uncomfortable with the
Adult Section in the back of the store. I was both fascinated
and apalled by pornography, an emotional dichotomy which caused
me to force my personal judgments upon our more discreet customers.
There was one man in particular who had a feitsh for double
penetration and anal sex, which were still considered taboo
at that time. He would come in every day and rent 3 or 4 videos
at a time; I would smirk, scoff, scorn and mutter insults under
my breath, and he'd gather up his rentals and leave the store
in shame.
One day I went too far; he checked out a video with a particularly
offensive title: Ass Masters. In bona fide shock, I held up
the box cover and told him to get out of the store.
The situation escalated into an angry spectacle as he told me
to fuck off and get a new job. At that point, my boss (who was
a bit of an asshole) put me exclusively in charge of the porn
section.
8 years later, I find myself writing copy and coming up with
video titles for one of the biggest pornography producers in
the United States. I wish I could see the look on that old man's
face as I sit at my computer and brainstorm new titles for our
latest anal flick: Ejacula, Bum Fucked Egypt, Bound Hog Day,
Potty Mouth, Bitch Bleeders, QUEEF: It's What's For Dinner!
I hope he's watching some of out stuff today.
Kent, WA
A few years back my ex-wife (not an "ex" then) and
I went to the adult store in search of a video or two to purchase
as well as a toy to go along with the video watching. After
much browsing we'd selected a couple of videos and a decent-sized
vibrator and headed to the check out counter. My ex was quite
the shy Canadian gal and while it wasn't a problem getting her
into the adult store she most assuredly wasn't making eye contact
with anyone nor was she going to speak with the clerk there.
The clerk punches in the prices for the two videos, setting
the boxes aside, then picks up the boxed vibrator and proceeds
to open it up. Twisting the cap off it, he sticks some batteries
into the vibrator and fires it up, all while my ex-wife is turning
more shades of red than I knew existed. He sets it on the counter
for second, still running, punches in the price and runs my
credit card all before finally turning the vibrator off and
reboxing it. "Have to make sure it works right 'before'
you get it home." he says to my ex, who's doing her best
to not hide from complete embarrassment. We take our items,
in their nondescript black bag, and head for the door, the clerk
saying "Have a 'good' night guys!". I thought for
sure my ex would be too mortified to ever return. Thankfully,
she wasn't.
Springfield, IL
The most embarrassing moment i had at an adult video store...Was
a couple of years ago i went into a new adult store that opened
I noticed that they had peep shows there...so i thought ohhh
what the hell ill try it..this way i could preview the movie
before i bought it....so i selected the movie....i told the
clerk i wanted to view it before i bought....so he ok go to
room 5....so i went in there watched part of it....it was just
like it thought it would be....thank god for the kleenex..lol......when
i left the booth an turn the corner...i literally ran into no
other than my MOTHER!!!!!....She was holdin a dildo..she looked
at me i looked at her...then she just turned around an ran out
the door....to this day i dont know who was more embarrassed
me or her......We did talk too each for like a weeks....its
hard for me too look at her today without gettin embarrassed...cause
i was completely embarrassed...to top it off i didnt get my
movie either.....so there my embarrassing story...
Alton, IL
Like most video stores that have that Porn section, the store
I used to visit had theirs in the back. Every time I came out
the door I always hoped that there wasn't someone I knew stranding
near-by looking at the video just outside the door. Well one
day I came out and who would be standing just 10 feet away?
My pastor. I didn't even stick around to rent the videos I had
picked out. I didn't go to church for nearly 6 months.
Aurora, CO
"I went to a video store in Virginia that sold a few 25
year old cartoons in their store front, but behind the curtain
was a whole Costco sized warehouse of porn.
Anyway, I headed over to peruse the Dreamgirls section and caught
out of the corner of my eye my boss scurrying away from the
gay porn section. Needless to say both of us treated the situation
as if we had not seen the other clearly."
Chicago, IL
I am a recovering alcoholic in a well know program for others
like me. I walked into my local book store to rent some smut.
There standing and browsing thru the dildo and vibrator section,
just inside the front door was my sponsor! Who was the most
embarrassed I don't know. But I would not be surprised if you
reed his story here!.
Osakis, MN
I had just turned 18 so me and the girl i was dating at the
time went to rent video while we were in looking for a good
porn i had got a hard on by reading the back of the video all
at once the lights had gone out so we started to play with each
other when she started to give me head so i thought i was thinking
man this is the best head she has ever given me... I was just
about to get a nut when the lights came back on when i looked
down it was the guy at the counter blowing me while the girl
i was with was watching along with3 other people she had been
friends with him 4 afew years and she wanted to see that she
was bi and had a3 some with me but she did not in tented 4 thouse
other people to be their..well needless to say their was all
so camera in the room were this all took place.i was so in embarrassed.
That I never went bac to that store again.because every one
that worked their seen me blow my wad on another mans face.i
had to move out of that town because of it. dont get me wrong
if i could go back i would let him do it again just this time
just the 3 of us and no one else but the camera and make sure
i got the tape....
Phoenix, AZ
I went to a local store here in phoenix and went to rent a movie
and found that there was late charge on there for two adult
movies... so i thought it was some i had rented earlier because
I didn’t use the account often.. but it actually was my
mothers account!!!
Newton Center, MA
I used to deal with a video store that was notorious for putting
stuff back on the shelves without logging it in. About once
a month I would get a call saying that I had failed to return
something. I would then visit the place, search the shelves
and find the tape that they were hassling me about sitting right
there. Naturally one time I came in to settle such a dispute
and there was a young mother in the store with a four year old,
hanging around the cash asking questions about the appropriateness
of this or that children's movie. The previous week I had hosted
poker and porn night and had rented about seven XXX tapes. With
the lady present, the pencil neck clerk wouldn't give me a straight
answer as to the title of the tape I supposedly owed. "Umm,
it's an adult title..." he murmered, which narrowed it
down very little. So I spent the next twenty minutes popping
back to the cutained off adult section of the store, scanning
the shelves trying to recall the exact titles and volume numbers
of my earlier rentals (who can tell Caught From Behind 3 from
8 anyway?) and then taking them out front and asking "Is
this the one?" "Is it this one?" That was the
last time I rented an adult title there and I canceled my membership
to that store a month or so later. They needed better inventory
control...
Evansville, IN
"I had just creeped out of the private room at a local
store (BB),and was promptly meet by my minister with a copy
of catlicckers in my hand. It was Sunday afternoon. I’m
still waiting for the lightning bolt."
Irvine, CA
The story I'm just about to tell you happened several years
ago. I was 12 years old and I was going to spend the weekend
with my dad. On the way home my dad took me to the video store
so that I could have something to amuse myself with that night.
When we got there my dad told me to go ahead and pick a movie.
After wandering around for a couple of minutes I picked my movie
and met my dad at the cashier. While the clerk was processing
the rental he told my dad 'Are you sure you want to rent this
movie for your son, this is an XXX rated movie', so you can
imagine my dad's face at the moment, he didn't know what to
say or what to do. You have to understand that this happened
in a cheap club back South America, and they didn't have any
divisions between the adult section and the rest of the store.
However, the best part of the story is that being such a cool
guy as my dad is, we ended up renting Porky's instead, so I
could see some nude girls after all...
Chelmsford, MA
The first time my wife went with me to the xxx room of the video
store she was a little nervous and embarrassed. But I guess
all the pictures on the box covers got her going and, out of
the blue, she decided to flash me. She was wearing a denim top
with press-stubs and she ripped it open to show me her tits.
While I was standing there shocked and excited, she noticed
the security camera that was pointed right at her. I've never
seen her leave a store so quickly!
Gasquet, CA
"I recently got engaged and subsequently married and after
we had been living together about a month (and before we were
married, this is important later) I took her into the porn section
of our local video store for a laugh. And maybe pick out something
we could watch together. So we're in there giggling about dwarf
porn and cum-guzzling cheerleaders and the like when who should
walk in? Take a guess. Go ahead, I'll wait. Ok, it was. . .
the photographer for our wedding. Doesn't sound too embarrassing?
He's also the father of my best man. He's also known me my whole
life. He's also been referred to, by me, to my wife, as a second
father. And this was the first time he ever met my wife. The
conversation went something like this.
Me: Hey! Jerry! What's up.
Jerry: Hi Justin (trying to act nonchalant, begins browsing
the porn),
Turning to my already embarrassed wife
I say: This is Jerry, he's going to be our photographer, he's
Charlie's dad. (She is desperately trying to hide a copy of
Asian Street Whores she was ogling)
I started to pick up on the awkwardness of the moment then.
I was already aware that Jerry's a porn fan and was not surprised
to see him. But, of course, Susanna was extremely self-conscious
about the whole thing. SO
I say: I think Susanna's a little embarrassed.
Jerry: Well so am I.
At this point we were all trying really hard to avoid eye contact
with one another. I decided it was now or never to slink out
of the little room.
Me: Well, I guess I'll call you to sort out the wedding stuff,
huh Jerry?
Jerry: Oh sure, nice to meet you Susanna.
Susanna: eep.
I had never seen my wife turn that red before. She's very tan
so it's hard for her to blush. That was the first and only time
I've ever gotten her to look at some porn with me. If this story
wins I think it would be my only hope to get my wife to watch
some porn with me. And I think every husband should have that
opportunity at least once."
Anchorage, AK
I was at a rental store and came across a movie that gave me
an instant hard-on. So of course i turn around to make a hasty
exit and walked right into this dude... I know he felt it.
Yorba Linda, CA
When I first started dating the girl-who-would-become-my-wife
(years ago), I took her to see her first adult movie –
in a theater (remember those?). The movie house had a nasty
old-butter smell. And the future mother of my children screamed
when she saw a roach crawl across the seat in front of her.
Needless to say, we never went back. Later, after we had moved
out together, we bought our first VCR, and the first thing we
rented - was an adult movie. We used to go look for rentals
together. I would peruse around the shelves in the adult section,
and she would make like she was shopping for a mainstream video.
“What’s taking so long?” she would always
ask nervously. “It’s really hard trying to find
anything good!” would always be my reply. We learned early
on that we both liked girl/girl, which unfortunately made our
search even tougher. Our favorite video store was miles from
our apartment, so renting movies - and returning them the next
day - was quite an ordeal. Later, when the kids came, renting
porn became even more difficult (and embarrassing), so we switched
to buying tapes and then DVD’s through the mail. But that
process was very hit-or-miss - and expensive! Then we found
the Wanted List, which was truly a dream come true. Choosing,
watching and returning movies is now more discreet and economical.
Obviously, our enjoyment of porn spans quite a few years, but
it’s never been more enjoyable than it has been lately.
Thank you, Wanted List, for making the entire process of renting
adult films more respectable!
Palm Coast, FL
I worked in a video store that had an adult section. One day
a customer placed a stack of "barely legal" videos
on the counter for me to check out for him. It took only a few
seconds for us to make eye contact and for me to realize it
was my high school principal. Nice.
Porn Star Layla Jade
"Imagine my surprise when I walked into my local adult
video/ bookstore to find everyone laughing, pointing and sniggering
at me !
In all honesty, I was so embarrassed I simply didn't know where
to look... !!!
To make things worse, I glanced up to see a full sized ( NAKED
!!! ) photo of myself, completely and unashamedly on full display
to all and sundry too !
I was just about to get onto the manager to complain, when all
of a sudden it dawned on me what was going on !!!
I suddenly remembered that I have appeared in over 300 XXX movies
and the reason that I was actually there was to sign and meet
my fans !!!
Duhh...
How silly I felt :)
Layla Jade
So... How about a free membership so I can check out my movies
without the above kind of embarrassment occurring again ????"
Fullerton, CA
It was when I first turned 18 me and my friends went to the
only video store in our town. We went to the adult section and
looked through the selection, it wasn't much since it was a
normal video store, but we picked a cum shot compilation. We
didn't mind renting it since the clerk was just some old guy,
but apparently there was a shift change when we were in there
and when we came out, the new clerk was one of the hottest chicks
at our school. Pretty much everyone had a thing for her. We
couldn't play it off since she had seen us walk out of the room
so we went for it anyways. We tried to act like it wasn't a
big deal but then when she asked to see my id, she saw that
I had just turned 18 and on the way out she said, Well it looks
like you will have a happy birthday! If that wasn't bad enough,
I forgot to return the tape and a week later they called my
mom up and told her that she was being charged like 20 bucks
for not returning Creamy Cum Guzzlers. So now my mom knew that
I rented it as well as one of the hottest girls in school.
Kansas City, MO
Well, here it goes... I was in LONDON/UK last winter, browsing(as
per usual), in search of MISSY titles (I'm not into a whole
lotta porn, persay, but she just does it for me, thank goodness
she's hitched, 'cos she'd have to deal w/yours truly, ok)?!
I wasn't finding anything, so I asked the clerk for anything
WICKED (meaning the company), but he thought that I meant literally,so
he pulls out this GIGANTIC EBONY DILDO (which flopped like a
beast,geez)?! He then shows me a picture of some femme who took
it whole (it looked excruciatingly painful as all hell)?! And
after all that, he actually comes onto me, like he thought that
I'd be interested in playing rough, ok? I was like, 'uh, no
thank you, that's alright', see? The shops are actually very
upscale in EUROPE, no one glares at you for visiting, all of
the titles are region-free (unlike the straight mainstream flix),
they are very accessible, chock full of little extra bits (more
so than any other genre, other than sci-fi, ok)?! All of those
SHENANIGANS happened right after I was chased down in SOHO by
a street hustling drug dealer, seriously?! I live a ROCK'N'ROLL
nightmare, but I have faith that all will prevail, eventually?
Most of the local"jack-shacks" have either been robbed
and/or burned down, shortly after I frequent them (and as a
result, I stopped going to them,it's strictly mail order now,
ok)?! They even have beastiality/incest films in the clear blue
for all to see, overseas (man, I wasn't ready for all of that,
it was a crash course in world affairs, and I shall be returning,
to live for good, fersure)?! DISCLAIMER; ALL THINGS WRITTEN
THEREIN ARE TRUE BLUE MATTER-OF-FACT JOURNEYS INTO THE BLUE...
PEACE...
Portland, OR
"I had just entered this
Porn shop, and, was so NEW to it, that I didn't even know the
""boothes"" required tokens, much less had
'glory-holes'. I was browsing, and, then, decided to go to the
back, thinking their was more movies, to rent.
The 'ample' clerk behind the counter, having followed me back,
upon my insistence that the ""video machines""
were broken, smiled , and, informed me that ""these
boothes take tokens, not quarters"". After remarking
that ""a little more lighting"" would help,
in the boothes, I walked up to the WELL LIT counter, and, as
I pulled the dollars, and, quarters out of my pant's pocket,
looked down , only to notice that I had 'zipped' my t-shirt's
'tail' into my 'fly'.
Trying to make the awkward situation a little MORE humerous,
and, a little LESS embarrasising...I blurted out...""Have
you ever seen 'Cheech and Chong's 'Next Movie''?
Smiling again, she said, ""Why , sure!""
I smiled , and, said back, looking at my crotch...""Ain't
that a Peach!"""
White Bear Lake, MN
"I
walked into the Adult area in my local store and found the janitor
from my youngest son's school crusing the shelfs. I tried to
just turn around and sneak out, but he greeted me like a long,
lost friend.
Needless to say, that is when I first joined the WL."
Alexandria, VA
I have quite a few of these. My best one though was a couple
of years ago when I went to my local store -- wife was out of
town for the weekend -- I had been in the "back room"
and picked up 3 or 4 tapes for the weekend. I usually tried
to time it so that I arrived at the check there is no one there.
I thought I had it timed but just as I arrived at the counter,
two "urban youths" came in the door attempting to
sell something to the owner of the store. They saw my stack
of tapes and they started to laugh. They then started with the
joking very loudly and the entire store turned and saw what
was happening. It was terrible. I left the tapes there and left
the store.
Columbia, MD (Cough... bullshit.. Cough)
"Hi, My name is Chris and my favorite video store moment
was last October.
I went to this video store named Video Explosion and I went
into the adult section. There there was a hot Brazilian girl
named Sylvia. We started talking and next thing I knew I bent
her over the table and fucked her brains out, her screams could
be heard miles away. I hope every guy has the luck I do"
Woodbridge, VA
I just recently sent to DVD's back to CA. After about 3 weeks,
the main office never received the DVD's. They requested that
I file a missing/lost mail report with the USPS. So I went to
the local post office to file the report, and had 2 more DVD's
to send back at that time. So, you guessed it, they used the
2 DVD's as an example of what content was initially lost. They
opened the 2 DVD's right in the front of the Post Office and
there were the DVD's Tunnelvision and Oriental Cheerleaders
Going Wild. I turned a little RED; to say the least!!!
Redondo Beach, CA
It's a long story but here's the short version... I, my wife,
& a girl friend were at the store & as my wife was trying
to embarrass her friend by putting on a strap on & chasing
her through the store with it, I was hiding in the video section.
Well then 2 gay guys came in & unbeknownst to me my wife
starting talking to them & said that I was her bi lover,
& sent them looking for me. So the rest of the time in the
store these 2 gay gays were hitting on me with my wife now chasing
me & our friend with a strap on. Our friend says she will
never go to a porn store with us again.
Cambridge, MA
Ok, the video store nearest my place has this adult video section
in the corner, with a huge 'XXX' sign. I am a kind of shy person,
and it took me a lot of courage to make the trip to the adult
corner and back to the counter clerk. When I turned away from
the counter, my roommate's girlfriend was standing there, with
an awkward smile on her face......
Las Vegas, NV
MY FRIEND TOOK A BOXCOVER AND JERKED OFF ONTO THE BOX AT THE
VIDEOSTORE. I WAS HORRIFIED!
Modesto, CA
As I walked out of the Adult, with one of my favorite videos
in hand, section of my favorite video store Stood my mother
and my 12 year old brother.
Aubrey, TX
At the local video store they have the adult movies behind a
swinging door. Outside the door are new releases. As I exited
the section one time the door swung right into my 12th grade
English teacher - who was also good friends with my parents.
The next time I see my dad, he says "So how was the latest
Jenna Jameson flick ..."
San Diego, CA
I was in the store getting my copy of 'Me luv you long time
#2' and my wife's mom was there renting Schlinder's List. The
look of disgust on her face, knowing I would be doing the same
thing to her daughter, was almost priceless.
Seattle, WA
When I went into my local porn palace and discovered that my
wife's ex employee had just started working there. I had to
make small talk with her, while she rang out my dvds.
Holiday, FL
"Returned a video that had no sound so the clerk was like
a dumbass and pops the tape into the stores VCR to see what
the problem is. Nice he didn't realize it was an adult title
so all screens had a chick getting both holes filled minus the
sound of course.
Everyone in the store knew what I was renting after that. Thank
God for the internet!"
Evansville, IN
Caught with a copy of cat lickers by my past Sunday school class
who was looking for the Disney stuff.
Hubert, OK
The guy in front of me tries to convince the clerk to take back
a defective vagina. He then turns to me and tries to enlist
my help.
Waycross, GA
I remember, I was at Sam Goody browsing thru the small selection
of adult vids. Then I see this guy coming to my left and he
was pushing something. It was one of those twin baby buggys
(the ones that can carry two babies) with his twin sons. He
stops at the shelf and looks for awhile and grabs a stack of
tapes and goes over to the counter. All of sudden his wife comes
in to the store. She takes one look at the tapes and starts
to tell him off. I pretend not to hear anything and buried my
face in a motorcycle magazine next to the shelf. He has a look
of shame and disappointment on his face like a child whose told
him he could get the toy he wanted. I did my best not to roll
on the floor laughing.
New York, NY
"I have a video
store moment that does not meet the conditions of having taken
place in a video store proper. It took place one flight up in
my apartment, which was owned by the owner of the video store.
I was stroking away up in my crib one fair afternoon when should
I receive on my door a knocking by my landlord, requesting entrance
to do some needed repair work on my apartment. I (not so) promptly
put it away, put my VCR on Pause and let the mid-50's woman
(landlord) in. We were lost in time while the helper did the
needed repair work. Now, you may be aware that the Pause feature
on VCRs works in one of two ways. After 5 minutes on Pause,
it either shuts down or continues the tape from where it was
paused. This particular model worked on the latter method. So
we were confronted by some pussy, I cannot remember at this
date who's, being stuffed by two cocks. I scramled to turn off
the VCR. I no longer live there (totally involving another matter)."
Tamaqua, PA
My wife and I rented several adult videos to watch. We stayed
up late to watch them. By the time we were through we were very
tired and put all the tapes back in the cases to return the
next day. Upon returning home we got a call from the video place
telling us we gave them the wrong tape back. Here one of the
rented tapes fell down behind the shelf. We looked at each other
in confusion knowing we took the right amount of tapes back.
When we went back to the store to give back the tape the store
clerk gave us "our homemade" tape back. We never knew
if he saw any of it, but it sure was embarrassing to think he
did.
Sagamore Beach, MA
This isn't exactly a valid entry since it didn't take place
in a store, but it's a great story. When I was about 19 or 20
I was living at my parent's house and used to have a small tv/vcr
combo that I would view porn on in my room. My mother was a
Sunday school teacher at the time and would occasionally borrow
my tv for films they would show in class. One Sunday morning
she took it to class and ejected the video I had left in there.
She didn't notice that it was "Things change" (Nikki
Dial/Dedre Holland) and inserted her video for class. After
class she left my video on the table at the church. Monday morning
she received a call from the minister that she had left a video
in the classroom. Needless to say I had some explaining to do.
This is the same minister that performed our wedding ceremony
and baptized both our children!
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